Direct from the Home Office in Sioux City, Iowa -- here is tonight's Top Ten List:

Top Ten Reasons People From Indianapolis, Indiana Move To (People's Republic Of) Cambridge, Massachusetts


Better view of the ocean.


More e-mail users.


In Cambridge people only have to drive 400 miles in a circle to find a parking space, not 500 miles.


Cambridge is easier to spell.


Cambridge has world-famous colleges like Cambridge College; Indianapolis has only Purdue and Indiana University.


Cambridge folk have very colorful accents; they "swallow" all R's (i.e.: they shop at "Stah Mahket" or "Jahden Mahsh", they wear "shahts" in the summer; they don't drink "shots"; and they "pahk" wherever they want, except of course in "Hahvahd Yahd".


There is no Dress Code in Cambridge (and, for that matter, very few dresses!).


The voting system and election procedures are so complicated and antiquated that no one is sure who the mayor is until five years after the expiration of his or her term.


As a pleasant consideration for all residents and visitors, smoking is banned in Cambridge and, when smokers are caught lighting up, they are pleasantly burned alive.

And, the Number One reason Hoosiers become Cantabridgeans is:


Beckie Hunter lives in Cambridge!

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